How to Actually Recover From Caregiver Burnout — Part 2

By Amber Chapman

Last edited October 13, 2026

There's tired, and then there's this.

I go to sleep and then I wake up exhausted. I have a few hours off and can't relax. I look at my Dad sometimes and I feel... nothing. Or on some of the tougher days, I feel resentment, anger, a honestly I've had moments where I'd wish for it to be over (and I'd never say that out loud).

I have days where I get short with everyone. I've cried in the car, in the shower, and I still cry at random moments. I find myself forgetting things more than often, missing my own appointments, and making mistakes. Many days I feel like a shell of myself — going through motions and performing.

I learned this week that this isn't stress. This is burnout. And it's the kind that doesn't fix itself with a weekend off or a glass of wine. It's the kind where my nervous system has been running on emergency mode so long it's forgotten how to do anything else.

I realized that this wasn't just tiredness anymore when no matter what I did, I did not feel rested. I just couldn't. I'd fall asleep for few hours. I'd wake up wanting to go back to bed. I needed more energy to keep going. I wanted to be able to remember clearly and focus without straining. I was dropping balls and couldn't see the ball dropping until it had hit the ground.

I can't push through this. I have to rebuild. And that starts with admitting how bad it actually is.

Quick Win

Action: The Non-Negotiable

Recovery requires protecting something. One thing. Not 5 things. Just one.

Pick your non-negotiable:

The thing that, if you protect it, keeps you from completely collapsing.

Write it down:

"No matter what, I will protect: __________."

This week, I'm protecting my one hour alone. I'm probably not supposed to put anything in that hour, but in true Amber fashion, I'm going to maximize that time by including my 10 minutes of movement and 15 minutes in silence.

Everything else can flex. This one thing doesn't. This keeps you grounded when everything else is chaos.

Deep Dive: How to Actually Recover From Burnout Part 2

Burnout isn't a mindset problem. It's a state. Burnout means your nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight, your stress hormones are chronically elevated, and your capacity is genuinely depleted. Recovery isn't about trying harder or thinking positive, but it's about changing the conditions that broke you. In order to do that, you must:

1st, acknowledge the truth

You're not weak. You're not bad at this. You've just been carrying an unsustainable load for too long and with too little support. Burnout is the predictable result of an impossible situation.

This may seem corny, but it helps me to say it out loud: "I am burned out. This is real. I need to do something different."

I've always been the strong friend that always showed up for everyone. I've always thought that regardless what happened, I would always be able to show up with my full cup and tackle whatever needed to be tackled with flawless execution. The reality is I'm human and I've been failing miserably because I've been focused on showing up for everyone but myself. I cannot continue to do this and everything else and expect my performance to remain the same. I am tired....exhausted even. And nothing is going to change until I acknowledge that something needs to change.

2nd, reduce the load — structurally, not temporarily.

A vacation won't fix this. We need to permanently remove some of what we're carrying.

We must ask ourselves:

This isn't about self-care. It's about math. We're carrying more than one person can carry. Something has to come off.

I gave up trying to respond to everyone within 24 hrs. That became a goal of mine because other leaders presented that as a best practice of effective leaders. What I came to realize is those leaders have a full staffs of people to resolve issues, execute work and manage their business for them. I, however, am currently a party of 1 and it's not realistic for me.

3rd, repair your nervous system.

Burnout lives in the body. Recovery has to happen there too.

Reducing social media activity, selecting intentional news sources and when I could consume them as well as ensuring I'm moving my body daily has given me a boost that nothing else could. I believe that remaining consistent with that the next 6 months will change the trajectory of my life.

4th, get support — professional if possible.

Therapy isn't optional here. A burned-out brain can't think its way out of burnout. You need someone outside the situation helping you see clearly, make changes, and process the grief and rage underneath.

If therapy isn't accessible, find a caregiver support group. Being seen by people who understand is healing in itself.

5th, grieve what got you here.

Underneath burnout is usually grief. A lot of us are grieving the lives we thought we'd have, the help that didn't come, the parent who needs more than anyone can give. That grief needs somewhere to go and if we're not intentional about it, we could channel it someplace it has no place existing.

I'm currently grieving the life I believe I should have, the places I should be traveling, the experiences that I should be having right now. I thought I'd be in a completely different place right now and that deserves acknowledging.

The bottom line:

You didn't burn out because you weren't strong enough. You burned out because the situation was unsustainable and honestly, it probably still is.

Recovery isn't about becoming tougher. It's about changing the equation: less load, more support, protected space for your body and mind to rebuild.

You need that.

You deserve that.

Final Thought

That's it for this week. Burnout isn't a personal failure. It's what happens when you carry too much for too long, alone, without enough support.

You can recover, but not by pushing through. You have to be intentional about changing what you're carrying and how — and letting yourself rebuild, slowly, over time.

You've been running on empty. Now it's time to stop running.